The fairy light garlands are swooped over all the major shopping areas, every vendor on Henry Street has this year’s ticket items (Justin Bieber posters and giant lighters, though the two are apparently unrelated), and it’s now socially acceptable to drink before noon, so long as your particular poison is garnished with a cinnamon stick. [...]
Have you ever been assigned to write a piece interviewing a Christmas Tree on behalf of your online magazine? It’s kind of like being asked to unclog the drain. You scratch your head and grimace like you have no idea how to even begin, yet in the back of your mind you are filled with [...]
If terrorists had a “Mission Accomplished” banner, they would hang it in the terminal of Charlotte-Douglass International Airport in Charlotte North Carolina.
You couldn’t tell from the concourse dotted with old fashioned rocking chairs and large pictures of people smiling that you were entering the culmination of every terrorist plot on America. No, you wouldn’t know [...]
My parents are awesome. Even though I demanded to live on my own and not move back home when I graduated, they’re still nice to me. Recently my mom sent me a $35 gift certificate to Wal-Mart. “WOO-HOO! I’M RICH!!!” was the first thing I said when I opened it.
I had been holding onto to [...]
Cruising aimlessly in my beat up Bonneville. Another beautiful Election Day morning n America. Hungover breakfast with my friend, Tyler.
The sudden and embarrassing jolt of realizing you’re letting down Lady Liberty.
“Oh man,” I said, turning to Tyler, “I forgot to fill out my absentee ballot. I didn’t vote.”
“Me neither,” said Tyler.
Two average American twentysomethings, the [...]
Dear Mr. Stifler,
It is with great…excitement…that I respond to the Thinly Disguised Secretary position, which I saw posted on peoplewithoutsouls.com. I recently graduated from an excellent school with a respectable degree, and replying to this position makes me want to gnaw off my arm. However, I am desperate, and I can feasibly perform the tasks [...]
I had always wanted to understand the appeal of Lake George, and what made it such a tourist attraction. After all, Lake George has been a source of inspiration for adventurers for centuries. Therefore, I decided to seek out the answers for myself and after dealing with agents, lawyers and publicists, I eventually sat down [...]
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