The Story of a Sex Addict: Shame, Movie Review

Shame, Movie Review

A No Nonsense Look at Sex Addiction

Before seeing Shame it was hard for me to sympathize with sex addicts. Who were they to complain when their lust was constantly answered by reward? But this grudge comes from a standpoint which is also crude, though easily believed. To assume a sex life is something to achieve also drains the act of sex from its meaning. Directed by Steve McQueen, this tour de force of a film delves into the issues surrounding a man too isolated to commit to females.

The main character, Brendan, is played by Michael Fassbender, a man who has that envious skill of the wordless enticing of a female’s hormones. Due to this and his insatiable craving for sex, his daily routine involves prostitutes, spontaneous hookups, and he even has his own personal porn-bot who “knows everything he likes.”

But in the scenes when he is not in the company of his co-workers or one of his girls, we see that his personal life is bleak and barren as he isolates his external sex life from his home. He chooses to leave the sex without having built any promise of commitment as he is an isolationist. Day by day Brendan indulges in a wild fantasy world the likes of which most men would be jealous. But what this movie exhibits is that such debauchery is not as enticing as it would seem to the lay sex-enthusiast, but instead is a staple of an unfulfilled person.

In his personal life there exists some gnawing emptiness, though he holds his act together impeccably. He has all the makings of a successful man who could have any woman he desired. He has a job in an office; he maintains businesslike encounters with quiet and nearly deferential professionalism, a current of regularity under which swims his problem.

One woman is not enough to quell his superficial drive towards being independent of them. Like all people who are aware of their weakness, he hides the vice through which he escapes, constantly immersed in the warm clutch of raw sex against which the subtler undertones of the movie rest. We see many scenes of him in the act, what would be pornography if not for the suffering in his eyes, which clutch forth tensely as if it is only aiming towards orgasm, a businessman aiming to close a deal.

Fassbender plays a likable man, sympathetic and silent in public, but devilish in his pursuit of females who see in him the opportunity to release themselves from a boring schedule and to fuck the pain away in the same way he does; pardon my French. A strange combination of a man, Brendan is hiding from his own emotional depth by holding together a wall between sex and the aftermath. He has a countenance of ease, which makes him strangely subdued and like a blank slate during the nonsexual scenes.

The tragedy of this story is not that he does not respect women as the ads claim. It is that he does not properly address his own life or invest care into anything he does, not even his sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) who is suicide prone and has scars all over her wrist. What she suffers from may be similar to what he does, though she is ironically more honest with herself, and because of this is more open and affable.

Brendan does not like this type of “attitude” and he treats her as an annoying distraction and a burden when she is forced to move in with him. This causes trouble as his apartment is his place where he can by physically alone. His tense relationship with his sister is a sad reflection on how American worth is based on independence. His sister is in need, and he only makes her feel worse, though she continues to attempt to draw him out from his stubborn and prideful shell, and into the light of true release.

The contrast between Brendan and his sister draws out the complex interconnectivity which belies human life. Brendan can buy anything he wants, has all the money in the world, commands his life with a tight grip whereas his sister is broke and yet warm in spirit. And yet even with her, he has no lease on affection or commitment to bonding, but instead scolds her and the need for love, which exists apart from sex in a softer light. From this brother to sister relationship, the need for comfort that Brendan is neglecting is revealed, without which he is a pit of caged sadness. He does not let anyone in to see him cry, to see his insides, and he leaves his own potential to die alongside it, unwilling to admit to defeat.

As Brendan begins to crumble under his own addiction, we see that after a certain point random sex is just as depressing as watching pornography and as unrewarding too. It does not promote emotional growth, but instead wears him thin.

The most poignant moment during Shame occurs when Brendan takes a woman out to dinner. It is a moment in which he is within the binds of a face to face conversation, the likes of which are rare for him. The woman across from him is a woman, not a lady or a girl, and is clearly distinct from the other women in his life. His nervousness is evident as he is uncomfortable with himself, and thus uncomfortable in close company. At one point during their conversation Brendan says that he does not see the point of getting married. His date’s response poses the question which the whole movie asks:

“Then what are we doing this for?”

The reality this question provokes is that polygamy is just as complicated as monogamy. Lusty adventures are momentary whereas love is more permanent and thus harder to maintain, like having to feed a flower every day so its beauty won’t die. Love stands for the things Brendan can’t handle: a dismissal of pride, a depth of patience, honesty, and a step-by-step approach. The truth is that by skipping through the hard truths of life he is also missing out on the real rewards.

Just as with drug-addicts, each ill-gained rush is temporary; it merely makes the hole grow deeper, and our shame more succinct. Shame is perhaps the most difficult emotion that humans feel, but it is the all-important remedy for preventing future mistakes, the likes of which we should avoid if we can, or else defy change and become dissolute, a decision Brendan still must make by the movie’s end.

–Ezra Prior is a Contributor to The Free George.

The Free George is the online magazine and visitors’ guide of Upstate NY, covering things from Albany to Lake Placid, including Saratoga, the Lake George region and the Adirondacks. Check out our City Blogs section for our extended coverage areas as well. 

Short URL: http://thefreegeorge.com/thefreegeorge/?p=16823